When you have acknowledged what is happening and although you probably feel bad about your behaviour, there is often a resistance to taking steps to get support to change this behaviour. It is normal to feel nervous or anxious about disclosing to another person behaviour we are not proud of and would rather keep hidden.
Here are some of the benefits of taking action for change now:
If you take action to change your violent/abusive behaviour, your levels of stress or anxiety will decrease over time
If you take action now, you will find support and practical help to change your behavior
If you put into practice what you learn, you will be a much safer man to be with for your partner and children
If you learn to treat those around you in a respectful and non-violent way, you will be more at peace with yourself and this will change the circumstances of your life for the better
What is likely to happen if you don’t take action for change now:
You will probably begin to place the blame on your partner or your children because you will need to find some way to feel better about yourself. You will find yourself thinking; “If only she didn’t nag me so much, I wouldn’t lose the head”, “she’s always pushing my buttons”, “if only the place wasn’t such a mess and the children so loud” etc.
You will probably begin to justify your actions: “I have a short fuse”, “I just pop when the pressure gets too much”, “If I didn’t have money worries, this would never happen”
You may promise yourself and others that it will never happen again but if you haven’t taken responsibility for your behavior and taken steps to change that behavior then it will happen again.